Author: Matty Boy

I busted my hump all day today sanding and oiling a door from the 1880’s for a job, and I come home to this. What does this mean? I have no idea what they’re talking about.

Is it because I’ve been getting thousands of views posting short clips of Family Guy? For one thing, they’re not monetized, and for another, I make it crystal clear that it’s not my content (and they permitted it). Take a gander at my Videos page. I’ve made three What’s The Deal videos, all of which took no small amount of effort, and not one has cracked 100 views. Combined, they don’t even crack 200.

As far as my original shit goes, “John Vomits” is my most popular video of all at 45K views… but I posted that 6 years ago. My flawless impersonation of Droopy Dog as Fredo from The Godfather has 26K views, but those took 5 years to accrue. Droopy Dog from The Dark Knight has 1K views so far, after 2 years. Meanwhile, my feature-length, award-winning 2008 animated movie that took me three years to produce? 362 views at present. With creator commentary? 50 VIEWS.  50.

Hey- how about that special Ceaseless Fables trailer for the strip’s 2/20/2020 relaunch, that took me forever to painstakingly edit? 60 VIEWS. There are literally videos of me belching that get more traction. Now I don’t have “sufficient channel history”? I might have broken “Community Guidelines”? Why, because I’m not a pederast like literally every major YouTuber? Because I’m not a fatherless female idiot teasing equally fatherless male idiots for “superchats”? WTF did I do wrong exactly?

You know what folks? THIS is why I lose motivation to create video content. THIS is why I don’t livestream. Why bother? I can post content here, on Bitchute and on Rumble and they leave me alone. Granted I get even fewer views in those places, but c’est la vie as the old folks like myself say. What is YouTube’s problem exactly?

My latest animated cartoon, which I’ve been working on over the past three years (thanks as always, paid-subscription-based Adobe Creative Suite), is nearing completion. Actually it’s one of two cartoons that I’m working on finishing before the end of the year. I’m gonna put a work-in-progress video of the former up here on my Patreon either tonight or tomorrow, schedule permitting. Behind the paywall, for my paying customers. I’m considering never putting it on YouTube for free, once the cartoon is completed. I have literally no reason to give it away. I’m sitting here counting loose change so maybe I can have something for lunch tomorrow. As it is I’m eating frozen catfish for dinner that I got at a food pantry back in February. Everything I earned working today goes to late bills and (if I’m lucky) late rent. I am flat broke. Again. Think how stupid I feel giving away my hard work on YouTube when it gains me nothing.

So yeah. It’s long past time to start focusing solely on paying customers. If you hate the idea of joining my Patreon, I have an option wherein I can charge a few bucks to view a post. This is new, so it’ll be an excuse for me to try it out.

This is one of the first animations I ever did, over 20 years ago. Back then it got something like a quarter-million hits and was seen around the world. It currently has 360 views. Gee, you think maybe the fix is in? How do you think that makes me feel?

Thanks for reading. You know where to find me. God bless.

This post is for the benefit of my general audience. I haven’t been productive for a long time now and I figured one or two of you might like an explanation as to why.

Out of consideration for my own mental health, I have decided to officially focus on quality over quantity. Sometime in the early 2000’s, when I was an award-winning Newgrounds user and was actively competing with websites like Doodie and Something Awful, I made the mistake of convincing myself that I could provide quality content on a daily basis. I saw other websites doing it, and, without a moment’s thought regarding whether they were run by more than one person, decided I could keep up.

In the beginning this wasn’t a terrible idea. I have a backlog of pre-written comics, hundreds of pages and strips that could be posted daily for a substantial period of time. I conditioned myself to create at least one solid idea or gag a day. But little by little, I made myself crazy. Okay, crazier. I set myself up for failure at the starting line.

If a day goes by without producing something creative, my self-hatred increases and my sleep schedule is decimated. If a week of days passes with no solid output, I grow despondent and miserable. I don’t expect anyone to understand this.

Some very blessed people pay to access the “good stuff” on my Patreon here. There are times where I feel overwhelmed with guilt because I should be cramming this site with material, when in reality long periods pass with nary an update. I don’t understand why I can’t just pour material out of myself as rapidly as I can think it. Take a look at the About page of my Bands I Useta Like website (now in its 10th year). Contemplate the absolute mania required for one person to create that amount of stuff. And it doesn’t even include the decades of daily/weekly editorial cartoons I was doing, at the same time.

I languish in confusion because I comprehend and trust other people even less than I ever did before. Even for an artist, I am alienated and dejected. For the better part of fourteen years, I created weekly Ceaseless Fables pages, first and foremost for myself, but now I struggle for a reason to continue. I feel like everything I have created has been for nothing.

Look at the world around you. Look at the people around you. Do you find anything that inspires? Does anything spark your imagination? Does anything give you hope for a better future? Does anything make you believe there will be one?

Lastly, if my latest article on the BIUL site disturbs you, or makes you consider withdrawing your support, consider the fact that for some time now I have been watching one of my dearest friends suffer and slowly die, thanks in no small part to conditions in this country that people who should god damn know better want to continue for another four years. I haven’t mentioned this because it’s not your business. My household has lost two pets this year and is infested with cockroaches. My eyesight is diminishing and two of my teeth have fallen out in the past six months. I have not set ink to paper since May (though I have been animating, largely out of obligation to the massive monthly fee required for the software).

I hope this helps everyone understand the extremity of my emotions, although I am simply being consistent with who I’ve always been. Thank you sincerely for your time and support.

Hello all- just a brief briefing since I kind of went radio silent for a week there:

1. I currently have a gig working in downtown Atlanta weekdays from around 8 am to 6 pm.

2. Thanks to income from this particular gig I can afford to initiate just about everything I’ve been trying to get off the ground in the last four years of grinding poverty.

3. As expected my time is limited. This will improve slowly over the next few weeks.

Thank you for your understanding, patience, and most of all, your support.

Love,
Matty Boy Anderson