During The Worst Year Of Our Lives Thus Far©, I did my level best to prepare for when things got worse, and truthfully, I didn’t fare too badly. My stimulus checks and tax refund all went towards rent, food and new equipment, including a setup with which I can animate or live-stream. I have (including my phone and laptop) four cameras to use now, one of which can shoot in 4K. I have a new Wacom tablet and two stylus pens for it. I have the materials necessary to sculpt sets, props and figures.
I still have to beg for money, because my regular paycheck hasn’t come in for over a month, and most of my time is spent putting up eBay auctions to make ends meet. On a good day, I can finish about 6 auctions. Each item has to be set up and photographed, researched, and listed. There are ways to expedite the process but they don’t work very well. Regardless, I could put up ten auctions in one day and the chances are that none will sell for weeks. It’s eBay. And it goes without saying, this is all time spent not creating content. You know, the stated purpose of my mission. So asking people for money again sends me into a very deep depression spiral that is extremely difficult to pull out of.
Look folks; no one is going to hire a manic-depressive 49-year-old for any kind of “regular job”, especially one who can barely handle reality as it is. Okay? I can’t live with this guilt-trip anymore, where I feel inferior because I “can’t handle a regular job”. You know this already; I wrote material for over 20 years about a job I couldn’t handle. A job I had for five years (in the 1990’s!), that still angers me today. I left that job to draw cartoons full-time. (And to prevent literally murdering the next person who asked me where the “Macarena” is.)
Patron donations right now cover my monthly Adobe Animate subscription, which is great. Instead of using $250 of my stimulus check on a year’s subscription, I bought the new Wacom tablet. The lion’s share of my stimulus went to rent and food, which is normal, right? That’s what it was for. However:
1. I still reside in the same noisy, violent craphole and obviously have no chance of moving someplace better, like an actual studio and not a tiny bedroom with all my earthly possessions crammed into it.
2. There is no funding available to produce the Ceaseless Fables Omnibus, and in fact I’m considering making the website Patron-only. Sad to say, but if only my Patrons visited the CFB site, it would have 4 or 5 more visitors. Viewership is that low. The lowest it has ever been since I started the site.
3. I have lost my nerve and confidence regarding fundraising/crowdfunding. I feel like I’ve asked too much already, but there’s literally no other way. Unless you have some suggestions.
4. I watch streams with relatively well-known comedians who get maybe 10 more viewers than I do. I enjoy websites that are under litigation from insane persons, and have to burn money to stay online, even though they are innocent of any wrongdoing. These things are not great for my professional morale. As I stated in my “Chagrin” cartoon, I’m fearful of being unfairly punished for my cartoons or ideas. Nowadays you don’t even get forced into an apology (I don’t apologize, folks); you just get smeared and annihilated. Sometimes by your own friends!
5. Even simple animation takes a long time to produce. I have a hard drive full of half-finished cartoons. People to whom you owe rent or bills do not care if you spent 24 hours on an animation you didn’t have time to finish.
I’m open to suggestions. I would love to hear that I’m not asking too much of my audience, and that this is the way it goes; you have to ask for donations. I see people donating money on live-streams like it’s no big deal. I offer a very unique, very niche form of entertainment and I understand that I’m a hard sell. But I’m at the point where this is the only way to go. I’m trying to produce animation solo that would cost a grand or more from a studio. The funds have to come from somewhere. I understand now why PBS had pledge drives all the damn time. Where else would the money come from?
Thank you for your time, support, and for reading this. The wheels are in motion, but I have to keep them greased. Grease is the word. It’s got groove, it’s got meaning. It’s the time, it’s the place, it’s the motion. Grease is the way we are feeling. This is a life of illusion; wrapped up in trouble, laced with confusion.
What are we doing here?