Things are in the shitter for me right now in some ways, but I’m also not getting the living shit kicked out of me like I was around this day ten years ago. Okay let me start over.<\/p>\n
I came here to post an apology\/explanation for falling behind on things, in particular, the weekly Ceaseless Fables of Beyonding<\/em> strip. Then, while editing my YouTube channel this morning, I saw that a video<\/a> I made of myself working on the “Brawl In Garrus-9” piece (which you can purchase here<\/a> in a variety of formats) was from only a month ago.\u00a0<\/p>\n Not to toot my own horn, but go have a gander at that illustration. It’s freakin’ sweet. And because of the breakneck pace of internet content, I’m supposed to produce… more<\/em> than one of these a month? Did you see the video? That was only ten minutes, real-time, and only about half of the total illustration. Also, I painstakingly researched each Transformer that I featured on that piece. I had Brawl and Shockwave in-hand, plus Titan Master Repugnus and the Prime Masters of Bludgeon and Bomb-Burst, so I was able to literally study them under a magnifying glass to get the details right. Arcee and Fortress Maximus I had to look up on TFWiki (you think I can afford a Fort Max?!?). Each character was specifically chosen based on their relevance to existing canon\/stories involving Garrus-9, a supermax prison in outer space. Then I did my best to marry these characters to the cast of the S. Craig Zahler film Brawl In Cell Block 99<\/em> (sky-highly recommended), their roles in that film, and their depiction in the illustration on the film’s poster<\/a>. In retrospect, that seems like the easiest\/most fun part.\u00a0<\/p>\n So; Brawl’s “optics” are oriented to mimic the wearied look in Vince Vaughn’s eyes, he has “battle damage” to simulate Bradley Thomas’s wounds, and Arcee’s expression is as close to Jennifer Carpenter’s as I could make it. Fort Max, having been warden of Garrus-9, was a natural match for Don Johnson, plus his large eyes (again, “optics” would be the proper term) match Warden Tuggs’s sunglasses perfectly. Not to mention, Max’s huge head was a real help in setting the angle, so the “eye line” would stay intact within the image.\u00a0<\/p>\n Now, if you’ve seen Brawl In Cell Block 99<\/em>, and by chance you’re also into the Transformers franchise, you know that there could not be a better analogue than Shockwave as the Placid Man. If I recall correctly, this was the inspiration that cemented my desire to do the piece. Plus, some time past I had purchased Siege Shockwave, and I was itching<\/em> to draw the toy’s insane<\/em> details. But man, just imagine Udo Kier<\/em> as the voice of Shockwave. The two characters even talk<\/em> the same! (Excepting Udo’s accent, ofc.)<\/p>\n Rounding out the row of portraits is the legendary Monsterbot Repugnus (as “Gil”\/Marc Blucas), complete with original “Venom Laser” gun from 1987,<\/em> cobbled together from his Titan Master design, his original look, and his appearance in the IDW comics. I did the same process with Bomb-Burst and Bludgeon, seen above the logo (created digitally for time) with contraband weapons resembling the weight-bars from the film. Not only are they toys I have, both have been inmates of Garrus-9 in-canon. The color palette is a combination of the actual toys and their relative portrayals in the comics.\u00a0<\/p>\n Does this give you an idea of the work I put in?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n There is no realistic way<\/em> to expect more of myself than I already produce. Yet, because of the speed at which the internet delivers entertainment, I feel a subconscious inadequacy, a nagging, never-ending guilt-trip that I’m not doing enough.<\/em> I cannot overemphasize to you how toxic this is.<\/strong> It leads to nothing but a total breakdown, when you realize that you are no longer able to keep up.\u00a0<\/p>\n This is just one piece. This isn’t even counting the back cover of the Ceaseless Fables Omnibus<\/em> that I previewed earlier (Bone Wars<\/em>), which requires a similar amount of background research, or the one\/two CFB<\/em> strips I managed to squeak out in the past month. Or<\/em> my eBay auctions, which, if I’m gonna do them properly, also<\/em> require research.\u00a0<\/p>\n Like many people, being forced to work entirely from home afforded me new opportunities. Silver linings.<\/em> But remember; these opportunities come with a built-in dependence on the doings of other people.<\/em> It is borderline impossible not to compare yourself to others when pursuing any<\/em> form of internetoriety.\u00a0<\/p>\n The more content you produce, the less special it becomes. Don’t wear out your welcome. Personally, I operate under the theory that if I don’t check in for a few weeks, the last thing you should ever think<\/em> is that I just threw my hands in the air and quit. It’s always because of real-life bullshit, which everyone deals with<\/em> and my complaining has literally driven everyone away from me. All of my intellectual properties are owned by me, which means they will end when I end them, and not before. There have been many Saturdays where I had no earthly idea where I was going to take Ceaseless Fables.<\/em> That doesn’t mean I’d ever give up. I’m over 400 pages into the thing.<\/strong> How many people you know who make over 400 of something and then go “ahh, pfft” and just do something else? I deliberately designed the property to be CEASELESS.<\/strong> By its very nature it cannot end.<\/strong><\/p>\n I thank you all again for putting up with a legitimate temperamental professional artist in a time when such persons are neither necessary nor desired. If you are new here, I encourage you to become a Patron Saint because it’s cheap, and it provides an even larger window into the nuttiness I provide. (It also opens bonus content on the Ceaseless Fables<\/em> website<\/a>. Eventually that will include animation.) Don’t make the mistake of commoditizing your personality like I did. You will live to regret it. Pay me a dollar a month and I’ll tell you all about why.<\/p>\n I love you.<\/p>\n